It’s normal for couples to have disagreements once in a while. However, there’s a right and wrong way to handle an argument. Unfortunately, too many couples these days fight in ways that result in hurt feelings and resentment. Couples counselors explain how you can argue more constructively.
Talk About How You Feel Early
No matter why you’re upset with your partner, you should talk about your feelings as soon a possible. If you wait too long, you may get very angry and take it out on your partner. By telling your partner how you feel, you may be able to avoid very heated arguments down the road.
When you’re feeling angry, it’s easy to raise your voice. However, yelling will just make things worse and may even scare your partner. Instead, talk in a soft and calm voice.
Don’t Deny Your Anger
It’s okay to get angry with your partner. It’s not okay, however, to repress your anger until you explode and then do or say things that you will regret. If your partner did something that upset you, don’t be afraid to tell him or her that.
Determine Which Issues Are Worth an Arguments
Before you begin an argument with your partner, decide if the issue at hand is really worth arguing or not. Some issues are worth bringing up, while many are just not worth arguing about. For example, if your partner did something minor like leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to do the dishes, it’s not worth it to have a heated argument.
Stick to the Issue at Hand
When discussing an issue with your partner, it’s important to focus on the issue at hand avoid getting off topic. Don’t bring up other things your partner did weeks or months ago if they’re not pertinent to the conversation. Doing so will just stress out everyone even more take away from the current matter.
Don’t Call Your Partner Names
No matter what, never call your partner hurtful names during an argument. All it will do is make him or her resentful towards you. If you’re feeling so angry that you’re afraid you will say something you regret, wait until you cool off to talk to your partner.
Don’t Threaten Your Relationship
When you have arguments with your partner, you should never use them to make threats to your relationship. If you tell your partner that you will break up with him or her if he or she doesn’t do what you ask, it can make him or her very depressed.
If you follow these tips and consider couples counseling in Palatine, IL, you can have more constructive arguments and a healthier relationship with your partner. If you and your partner ever experience issues that you can handle your own, we encourage you to make an appointment with a dedicated couples counselor.
Thanks to Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into couples counseling and how to avoid bad arguments.